Things That I Find Interesting: Horoscope Edition

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Over the years I have become less and less of a fan of Cosmopolitan magazine, but once again I have managed to accidently prolong my subscription for another couple of years. So, even though I don't really like the magazine, there is one thing that they publish in their January issues that I always look forward to... their "Bedside Astrologer" booklet. This booklet is Cosmo's version of a quickie yearlong horoscope guide. In college my roommates and I used to keep a copy of it on our coffee table at all times, right next to the dream interpretation dictionary... because one never knows when they may need some heavenly guidance. And while you may laugh, these books often proved useful at cheering us up after a bad day. The situation typically went something like this. 

We'd come home for lunch (usually with food from the Skellar... which meant something fried, or something oozing with sauce and cheese). We would then plop on the couch and let out a sigh of relief, only to then rant about how "bad" our day had been. At this point one of us would usually jump up, and rather excitedly say "let's read our horoscopes!". Because honestly, when isn't it a mood lifter to think that your destiny might involve meeting the man (or woman) of your dreams by the end of the week, only to be whisked away by them on a romantic dinner, where you will also learn that you have just stumbled into some huge fortune (which you will obviously use to buy all those new clothes you've been coveting). However, a bad horoscope was bound to pop up every now and again. I mean a dream date is great, but losing your friend to a jealous coworker, and then getting blamed for a spoiled group project, not so much. So if this was to happen, we simply went to plan B... the dream dictionary. If horoscopes failed to brighten our mood, then surely discovering the truth behind our dreams would. Because, how can you not get excited to learn that dreaming about flowers actually means that your newest crush might just bloom into a new relationship, if tended to properly (I totally just made that up... but it sounds good right?).

So this morning when I finished glancing over my 2009 horoscope in review (as dictated by Cosmo) in my handy dandy "Bedside Astrologer", I was reminded of a conversation I had a few months ago with a friend of mine. We were standing in a bookstore, and while he was searching for a specific book, I was browsing through a very detailed and quite nice horoscope book. He found what he wanted, glanced at me and said "you don't really believe in those do you... because you know you may not be the sign you think you are?!". Uh, oh! What?!? OK so I don't really believe that my astrological sign dictates the way I will behave. Also, I certainly don't think that what my horoscope says will really happen to me. AND it does make total sense what my friend was saying, because it is true that the stars are not in exactly the same positions now as they were when the original astrological chart was designed. BUT none of that takes away from the fact that I find horoscopes, and astrology, to be extremely fascinating. I won't go into detail about my intrigue in this subject, due to fear of sounding like a fruit loop, but I will admit that when he said I might not be the sign I thought I was, a little part of me was let down. To me it's sort of cool and mysterious to think that my future could already be predisposed to something, based on the way the stars were alined when I was born. But, NO... now my friend is telling me I may have been "reading" someone else's future this whole time. So as soon as I finished reading my horoscope this morning I quickly did some research, and GASP... I am not the sign I thought I was. All my life I believed I was a Taurus... turns out I am supposed to be an Aries. Oh dear... what to do now!?!  

5 comments:

G said...

Dude. You are totally a Taurus.

Vic said...

Oh good... cause that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Elizabeth said...

but i don't want to be a pisces!

Molly Pants said...

Don't worry Zabe- we're totally Aries.

And Vic- you should get your "chart done" if you want to really feel better- they'll tell you your "Sun sign" and "rising sign" etc- so then if you don't like your Taurus horoscope, you can always write it off and say "Well, I AM really a Sagittarius rising" and see if that one is any better.

Not that I've had that done or anything...

Anonymous said...

Yes, and I'm some strange sign I have never even heard of. What does that mean? Am I in the Twilight Zone?!
xxoo