Stories That Make Me Laugh: Turkey Trot Edition

In honor of Thanksgiving I thought I would share a funny memory of this little one below (Cobas). The story doesn't have too much to do with Thanksgiving other then the fact that it took place around this time last year. Cobas was 3 at the time, and we were at his town's annual Turkey Trot (along with his four other siblings). It was freezing out, and far too early in the morning for me to be braving this situation, but what can you do. We bundled up and headed over to the school where the Turkey Trot was being held. I attempted to keep these five super excited (and extremely friendly) children corralled in one general location while I assessed the situation, and got them all registered to run in the Turkey Trot. It was pure chaos everywhere, and the kids kept dashing off on me, or asking me fifty million questions. I simply had my eyes set on the hot chocolate (although I was wishing it was coffee at this point), and the breakfast snacks on the table... all the while wishing this whole event would be over soon. So we are taking it all in, attempting to keep as warm as possible, and waiting our turns. However, something is really bothering Cobas, and he keeps tugging on me. And this is why:

October 2007

Cobas, pulling on my pant leg: "Tia, Tia (his nickname for me)."

Me: "Yes Little One (my nickname for him)." Cobas just stares at me and then stares at the snack table.

Cobas, still pulling on my pant leg: "Tia!" Then he whispers something that none of us can hear, let alone understand. 

Me: "Huh? I can't hear you cutie."

Cobas: "Oh." Then he looks at me with this little innocent smile and whispers something again. Again we can't hear him. 

Me, bending down this time so I am at his level, and can hopefully at least read his lips if he decides to whisper again: "What is it Little One?"

Cobas, as he points to the snack table and smiles: "Tia?"

Me: "Oh! Would you like a snack? Are you hungry?"

Cobas, all excited that I have finally understood what he is talking about: "Yeah!" So the two of us head over to the snack table where Cobas' smile suddenly turns into a look of shear panic. Once again he tugs my pant leg, and then he pulls me down to whisper in my ear. "Tia? Where are they? Will you ask the girl if they are all gone?"

Me, totally clueless as to what he saw on the table before, that apparently is now gone, and causing him panic: "Cobas, what are you looking for?"

Cobas, just looks at me like "Duh, Tia. How could you not know what I am looking for." and then he yells: "THE SHRIMPIES!"

Me, finally discovering what it was he was looking at on the table: "Cobas... those aren't shrimp, they're doughnuts, and there are plenty. Would you like one?"

Cobas, completely let down: "OH... no." And then he walks away from the snack table with no shrimp... and no doughnuts... and all the while I am hysterically laughing.

Yup... I am pretty sure he is the only 3 year old who would mistake doughnuts for shrimp cocktail... and then be terribly sad about his lack of shrimpies!

Things That Make Me Happy: Paste Magazine Edition

A couple of years ago my dear friend Jenna introduced me to an amazing magazine. I have since become a subscriber to this magazine (Paste), and every month I am like a little kid at Christmas time waiting for its arrival. You see not only is it a great magazine filled with lots of cool stuff BUT it also comes with a mix CD. I am only slightly obsessed with mix CD's (but I will save that for another post), so I am always eager to tear open the package and see what Paste has in store for my little ears. They never fail to put together an interesting mix of music, some of it is great, some of it not so much. Either way though it is music that I would have probably never come across on my own, and so I am always happy for the new discoveries. So, if you are a big music fan, I strongly suggest that you go check out Paste... I doubt that you'll regret it.

Things That Make Me Happy: Brewery Tour Edition

I like beer. I like my friends (but this one goes without saying). I like doing things that make me more "knowledgeable". I like that the most perfect combination of these three things is... a brewery tour! I've gone on a couple this year, and I must say it is one of the best ways to spend a day. What is better then spending some nice relaxing time with a friend, going on a random adventure, learning something new, and getting to drink beer at the end of it all. Also breweries offer up a fascinating array of people to satisfy your people watching desires. There is the cute adorable chubby little baby who can't stop smiling at you and your friend. There is the group of beer geeks who ask way too many questions (many of which go unanswered because they are out of the realm of the tour guide's "scripted" material). And then there is the group of underage kids, who make a big scene and don't understand why the tour guide won't serve them a beverage when they not only fail to present an ID, but also claim that beers like Natty Light are God's gift to human kind. So, if you are looking for some random fun... may I suggest to you a brewery tour!

Things That Make Me Annoyed: ID Picture Edition

Why is it that ID pictures happen to be some of the most horrible things out there! The whole idea of getting a new ID of some sort is enough to put me into a state of dread. First it starts with the nuisance of having to wait in line to get your picture taken, and fill out the appropriate paperwork. Then it evolves into dissatisfaction when you see your picture, because obviously there will be something wrong with it, and it's not like you really get a chance to do it over. Then there is the ultimate sigh of horror when you get your ID, and see the end product, because then you realize you are now stuck with this thing for at least a good 4-10 years. So in honor of the dreaded ID picture here is a sampling of some of my horrors from over the years, and feel free to laugh... I know I always do!

Stories That Make Me Laugh: "Car Accident" Edition

An old friend of mine sent me a message on Facebook the other day in which she reminded me of this guy that we went to highschool with. I laughed after reading her message, and then immediately thought of this story. But first let me give you a little background info on this guy that we went to highschool with. He was quite the character, and one of those kids that everyone knew. He wasn't exactly well known though because he was super nice or really talented at something... no he was well known because he had a "unique" sense of style. I say "unique" because his style revolved around one specific article of clothing, his shoes. He LOVED these shoes, the rest of our school HATED these shoes. They were a pair of old Birkenstock clogs, which really doesn't seem all that bad, except for the fact that they had holes in the top and his toes would stick out. But everyday it was always all about these shoes with him (it was actually a tad ridiculous his love affair with these shoes). I remember he had a hard time choosing his senior picture because of his shoes. He really liked the far away full body shot, but he was bummed because the true "essence" of the shoes had not been captured (and by that I mean that you could vaguely see the shoes in the picture, but since it was so far away you couldn't see his toes... and yes I am totally serious). He also used to want to be Dawson from Dawson's Creek. This isn't soooooo bad due to the fact that this was back in the day when Dawson's Creek had just begun, and was all the rage, and well who didn't want to be Dawson (or Pacey, Joey, or Jen). However, he would actually pretend he was Dawson. He had a name for his version of the show, and he would give us weekly updates on how it would play out. Odd, but true... and for some reason we all went along with this (and his many other idiosyncrasies). So needless to say this kid was quite the interesting one! However, he also wasn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier, which brings me to my story. Our junior year we had a first period class together. It was geometry, and he would always sit diagonally one seat behind me (that way he could attempt to cheat off of me). This didn't exactly bother me due to the fact that I was on to his scheme... oh, that and the fact that he would blatantly ask me if he could cheat off of my tests (he wasn't exactly Mr. Sly). So anyways, one day I am sitting at my desk and he comes tearing into our classroom, a little on the late side, and we have the following interaction.

He makes a bit of a scene and looks at me: "Vic, Vic, are you alright?" 

Surprised, and quite confused, I sort of just blankly stare at him and respond: "Ummm, yeah. Why?" 

He then says: "Weren't you just in a car accident?"

Me: "Ummm. No."

Him: "Are you sure?"

Me, still totally confused: "Yeah, I'm sure."

Him: "But I just drove through five corners (this insanely awful intersection near our school) and I saw your car... smashed and on fire!".

Me: "Oh, but it wasn't me. I've been here this whole time."

Him: "But it was YOUR car. Are YOU sure you're OK."

Me (and by now I am really wanting to start laughing like crazy, but I am nice, and so I am holding it in so as not to make him feel even more ridiculous then he is already being): "I am positive. I am OK, and it really wasn't MY car, but thanks for the concern."

Him: "But it looked like YOUR car. Are YOU SURE it WASN'T?"

Me: "Yup, I'm sure." And then I thought this to myself: "Ummm, yeah. OK I get it buddy. It LOOKED like my car, but it WASN'T MY CAR!" Apparently though this was a bit of a lost cause, as he just really wasn't getting it, and so we continued to go on for just a little bit longer with more of the same back and forth as above. 

So I really was not in a car accident that day. The car he saw may have looked like mine, but it wasn't, and for some reason he just could not wrap his head around this fact. So during the rest of class he just sort of looked at me like I had just survived some horrific event, and it was a miracle that I was sitting here at my desk... unharmed.

Things That Make Me Annoyed: Bad Day Edition

Today is just not my day! I don't understand why when you are having a bad day EVERYTHING seems to go wrong. When I have a bad day it is not usually one huge awful thing that happens to me, but is instead usually a collection of tiny mishaps (one after the other) that lead to an overall feeling of frustration. On days like these all of the most random things seem to go wrong, and no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get anything right. So with that said, I thought I would leave you with this song for your listening pleasure, because Joe Purdy's singing makes having a bad day actually... tolerable!

         

On a side note... I would have left you with the song Bad Day by Daniel Powter but that just seems like such an obvious choice. Oh... and one of the kids I used to take care of (Morgan - featured in my post about Curtis Stone) was obsessed with that song. She would sing it for us over and over at the top of her lungs. So after listening to that song pretty much on repeat for a good three months I sort of despise it!

Stories That Make Me Laugh: College Roommate Edition

2000

I went to Union College. A small liberal arts college that can be found in the oh so wonderful town of... Schenectady, New York! While there I managed to learn many interesting things and meet many fabulous people. I also managed to have a pretty amazing time while I was at it! It was a HUGE transition for me at first, but luckily I had the pretty awesome girl pictured above (my freshman year roommate Lindsay) by my side. As freshman we were pretty clueless, and obviously new to the whole "college scene", none the less we managed to get ourselves into plenty of crazy hijinks. As roomies we had a pretty special bond. She was the hockey playing, mechanical engineering, Creed listening, Mexican blanket loving sidekick to my sometimes too girly for Lindsay to handle, Enya listening, Titanic watching, free spirited self (if that makes any sense at all!). Basically we were pretty much polar opposites. However, we got along incredibly well, and our living situation couldn't have been happier. Even though we drove each other crazy, we also had the best times together, and made some of the most amazing memories.

And to think, I never would have met Miss Lindsay had it not been for the wonderful people at Res Life (please insert sarcasm here)! You see, before we started college we had to fill out this little questionnaire about our living styles. According to Union we were placed with our freshman year roommate by a computer. The choices were made purely by chance, but dictated by the answers we had given on our questionnaires (and as I said before Lindsay and I were polar opposites, so I am not quite sure how we matched up on our living styles, but whatever!). So, I am just wondering... if Lindsay and I were put together by pure chance, why is it that my wonderful roomie and I happen to look so much like the two adorable little girls pictured below!?!   

1988

Oh right... because we are those two adorable little girls! Go figure! I wind up at this small college that half of the world has never heard of and I am "randomly" placed with one of my childhood friends... who also happens to be from the same town as me! 

Things That Make Me Happy: Curtis Stone Edition

Curtis Stone is my boyfriend. HA! OK, well obviously he is not my boyfriend, but a girl can dream. Right? For those of you who are not familiar with the dashing man pictured above, please let me be the first to introduce you to Curtis Stone. He is quite adorable, funny, talks with an Australian accent, and he cooks. He is also the host of TLC's show Take Home Chef. About two years ago TLC added this great show to their daily afternoon lineup, and at the time I was nannying for a family with 5 kids. Needless to say life taking care of 5 kids is quite chaotic, so Curtis always added a nice little perk to the dinner making hour. Around this time I had quietly, and successfully, converted all five of these adorable children into little TLC (my favorite channel) followers. It was also around this time that the second youngest (Morgan, who was about 4 at the time) had decided that she had about four boyfriends. Day after day we would have to hear about all of her many boyfriends. There was the older boy who lived down the street, the little boy from her preschool class, Harry Potter, and then last but not least (and our personal favorite) Vin Diesel. So after having to hear about one of these boyfriends practically every time she opened her mouth (and she is a talker) I had had enough. I decided I was going to poke fun of her a little, and thus that is how Curtis Stone became my boyfriend. I loudly announced while making them dinner one day, and watching Take Home Chef, that Curtis Stone would now be my new boyfriend. All five off them laughed at me, with the older three getting even more of a chuckle because they knew I had said it as a way of playing around with Morgan. So all of us (me, and the five kids) kept this running joke going on for quite some time, and one day we had the following little "moment".

I was down in their kitchen, being a fabulous multi-tasker while making them dinner. I was helping the second oldest (Maiah) with her homework, emptying the dishwasher, and doing the laundry, all while drooling over Curtis Stone on the TV. Maiah happened to glance up and notice the TV: "Hey Vic, it's your boyfriend!" I nod, and smile, and say: "I know!" I then run upstairs to quickly switch over the laundry. As I am getting to the top of the stairs I hear the oldest (Madison) call from her bedroom on the next floor up: "Victoria! Your boyfriend is on!" I reply: "I know. Thank you. Maiah and I were watching it in the kitchen." Then I remember that Madison is supposed to be cleaning her room, so I quickly get on her on how she shouldn't be watching TV and she should be cleaning her room instead. Blah, blah, blah. So I turn the corner to get to the laundry room and find the middle child (Jonah) watching TV in the room across the hall. He nods hello and says to me: "Batoria your boyfriend is on!" Once again I reply: "I know, thank you!" I go into the laundry room only to hear Morgan screaming my name throughout the house. I come out of the room thinking, oh dear what now. I see the littlest (Cobas) has decided to join Jonah in front of the TV. Cobas looks at me and smiles, then says: "Tia (his nickname for me) boyfriend!" I giggle and go to hunt down Morgan. I find her and ask her what is wrong and why is she screaming my name at the top of her lungs. She replies: "Oh... I just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend is on TV!" Oh geez! So even though Curtis Stone is not really my boyfriend he is sure more then welcome to pick me up at the grocery store and come home to cook for me... anytime he wants!

Things That Make Me Annoyed: Lunchbox Edition

Don't get me wrong, I actually really do like lunchboxes. They are usually very cute, and serve an important purpose. However, when taking care of children the lunchbox takes on a whole new life of its own. You no longer think of the lunchbox as a cute accessory to a backpack that safely carries a lunch from point A to point B, but instead it becomes this annoying box that many times turns into a biohazard zone. What should be a simple task of packing or unpacking one's lunch somehow always turns into the biggest battle ever, many times ending in fights or even tears. The first half of the lunchbox disaster always starts like this:

Me: "(Insert child's name here) did you pack your lunch yet?"

Child: "No, I am going to do that right now."

Ten minutes later, Me: "OK, is your lunch ready yet?"

After standing staring into the cabinet for ten minutes and not moving, Child: "No... I don't know what to pack, there is nothing that I want." I then proceed to rattle of a list of whatever there is to eat in the house.

Child: "OK, fine. I guess I will have (insert whatever food they have chosen, begrudgingly I might add)."

Ten minutes later, Me: "OK, are you done now?"

Child: "No, I still need to find a snack."

Me: "AHHHHHHH... OK fine, well hurry up!" Ten more minutes and the lunch is finally packed, then I proceed to go on for another five minutes reminding said child to get their lunchbox into their backpack. It wouldn't be soooooo bad if I only had to do this for one child, but the above scenario must be repeated for each child in the family, which in this case is three. The second half of the lunchbox battle goes like this:

Me: "(Insert child's name here), please empty your lunchbox and put it away."

Child: "OK."

Ten minutes later, Me: "Did you put your lunchbox away?"

Child: "No, not yet."

Me: "OK, please do that now."

Child: "OK."

Ten minutes later, Me: "Did you put your lunchbox away yet?"

Child: "No, I am doing my homework now. I will put it away when I am done."

Me: "Fine, please put it away."

Ten minutes later... I have moved into another room. Said child finishes their homework and comes to join me. Once again, Me: "Did you empty your lunchbox and put it away?"

Child: "Yup!"

Me: "Great!" I then head into the kitchen to do something else where I find either one of two scenarios. One is that the lunchbox has in fact been emptied, but is still sitting on the counter, and not in the cabinet where it belongs. Two is that the lunchbox is still sitting there, completely full of their lunch. So in the end, after pestering three children to empty their lunchboxes for about an hour, I get stuck emptying the stupid things and putting them away. If I am really lucky I will be sure to find some disgusting rotting piece of ancient food that they have left behind as a present for me! Sometimes something great happens though... they buy their lunch at school!

Stories That Make Me Laugh: Idea Edition

Getting a new idea is always exciting. You suddenly have this rush of energy to see your new dream and thought come to fruition. However, when I get a new idea, or hear someone say the words "I've got an idea" I am always reminded of this little cutie below

March 1997

My friend (who shall remain nameless due to the fact that he is now 13 and would be oh so embarrassed if he knew I was sharing this story) was, and still is, a doer and a thinker. I started taking care of him when I was only 15 and he was 3 months old... we have a close bond, and he is pretty much like a brother to me since we sort of grew up together. I swear he was born talking (OK well not really, but he did honestly start talking really early, and not just baby babble, he was quite the intelligent little sentence maker). We would spend our days talking for hours, discussing the way the world worked (sure, a sort of odd thing to be doing with a 1 year old, but like I said he was very smart), and playing. One of his favorite things to do though was to come up with new ideas, and you could always see the wheels turning in his head with each new discovery. We would be sitting playing and all of a sudden his big blue eyes would start to twinkle and he would just look at me with this cute little smirk. Then he would point his little chubby index finger in the sky and say to me "Tu-Ta (his nickname for me) I got idea!". He would then proceed to tell me, in detail, exactly whatever his idea was. It could be something as simple as "let's play with the blocks" to something more complex like "but if we stack all the blocks on top of each other they might get too high, and then they will fall down, and we will have to start all over again". Even to this day he still gets that same smirk and twinkle in his eye when he gets really excited about something, and sure enough the words "I've got an idea" are usually not too far behind. Back in the day I never knew what was going to come out of his mouth after he uttered those words "Tu-Ta I got idea!". Whatever it was though it always made me laugh... and to this day whenever someone mentions that they have an idea I always, always, think of my little friend and smile.

Things That Freak Me Out: Loose Teeth Edition

So the other day I was picking up the kids I take care of from their school when the middle child decided to show me her new loose tooth. I immediately had the same reaction that I do whenever I am stuck in this type of situation. I cringed, quickly looked away, and forced a smile... all while I attempted to feign excitement over the wiggling little white object in her mouth. You see just the thought of a loose tooth makes me sick to my stomach, the actual sight of one is enough to make me have a total freak out. You could say, as odd as it is, that I have a small phobia of loose teeth... and it is all due to the toy pictured below.

Christmas 1986

This toy was a musical instrument that had interchangeable pieces. And on one fateful day two of these pieces got stuck together. I was about 5 and had a nice little set of "strong" baby teeth, or so I thought. Since I couldn't pry these stuck pieces apart with my little hands I thought that I would use my "strong" teeth. This was an extremely bad decision, and at the time had I known that the following outcome would result in my being scarred for life I probably would have thought twice, and asked a grownup for some help. I don't even remember if I got the pieces apart. What I did manage to do though was separate one of my teeth from it's cozy little home in my mouth, and just so you know this tooth was firmly planted into my gums and not at all a teeny bit loose. It fell into the white carpet of our living room, and I am pretty sure I must have started to wail in pain. Next thing you know I am sitting in my dad's lap with a bloody facecloth shoved in my mouth while my mom is searching the carpet for the lost tooth and frantically calling the pediatrician. I was never the same after that experience. While most kids loved having a loose tooth, and the whole right of passage it brought with it, I instead would have a melt down. I would refuse to eat, or if I was starving I would only eat super soft food that I could chew on one side of my mouth. I never wiggled or pulled out any of my own teeth on my own free will, and instead let them hang in my mouth by mere threads of skin (I know totally gross). I wound up with my adult teeth and my baby teeth occupying the same spaces at the same time far too often, and in turn had to have a good portion of my baby teeth extracted by the dentist. Thank goodness though that my braces were able to fix all of the mess that I created with my teeth. And as a final parting message all I have to say is... please don't ever, ever, use your teeth as pliers. 

Things That Make Me Annoyed: Rotary Edition

I live in New England. New England, for some strange reason, has decided that rotaries are the best invention ever. However, New England needs to realize that the rotary is not actually an ideal way to control traffic flow. The majority of the other states in our country don't feel the need to use rotaries in their roadway designs (or if they do it is very rare), and this makes the prevalence of them in New England even that much worse. Now not only do we have traffic from the people waiting their turn to use the rotary, we also have chaos and confusion from the people who don't know how to drive in one. We seem to have rotaries all over the place, merging onto and off of highways, at busy intersections, and even on random back roads. I really hope that one day New England realizes the error of their traffic controlling ways and makes a decision to ban the rotary... until then I will just scream in annoyance every time I encounter one. 

Things That Make Me Happy: Cat Edition

My two kitties: Owen (on the left) and Sullivan (on the right)

Things That Make Me Happy: Orange Sweatshirt Edition

Not only do I love my orange sweatshirt, I apparently love to take pictures with Cobas while I'm wearing it!

I own an orange sweatshirt. I can honestly say that orange is not exactly the most flattering of colors for me (I am far more of a blue girl), however, the sweatshirt was calling out my name the minute I stepped into the store the day I bought it. It is by far my most favorite sweatshirt I have ever owned. I have had it for several years now, and it is still just as soft and lovely as the day I bought it. It keeps me super warm, is so cozy, and the fit is just right, plus the color always brightens up my day. This sweatshirt also somehow manages to go with anything, of any color, that I may chose to pair it with. So basically, it is hard for me to not have a smile on my face when I am wearing this sweatshirt due to all of its amazing characteristics! Since sweats are the main staple in my wardrobe (they are cozy, keep me comfy, and stand up to the mess that I always seem to get into when I am hanging with the kiddies), it is pretty safe to say that this sweatshirt is in heavy rotation. Thank goodness for American Eagle (and their sister store Aerie) and their sweatshirts/sweatpants... without them I would be lost.

Things That Make Me Happy: K-Cup Edition

So I have decided to start my journey into blogging the same way I like to start my journey into a new day... with a nice cup of coffee!

While I greatly enjoy drinking coffee, I am not a huge fan of making it (nor am I very good at making it), and so I would much rather simply go out and buy my morning cup. However, this tends to eat up quite a considerable amount of pocket change. Then one day I met the Keurig brewer, like the one pictured above, and my coffee drinking life was changed for the better! My brewer allows me to make one steaming hot cup of yummy delicious coffee whenever I may want it. It's so easy I can even do it when I first wake up, and am half asleep, as there is no need to measure anything. All I have to do is choose what flavor I am in the mood for (and there are plenty of K-Cup flavors for you to pick from), place my cup in the proper location, and hit one little button. There is no left over coffee to go to waste like there is when you are forced to make a whole pot in a regular machine, and everyone can have the flavor and strength of coffee they like. Perfection in a cup! I now find myself with a little more money in my pocket... and a much bigger coffee addiction. Oh well... at least it's yummy coffee I am drinking.